RC de Scrumboks – RC ’t Gooi 4
"Mooi, mooi, mooi tegen 't Gooi, 't Gooi, 't Gooi”
Happy new year Scrumboksing legends,
A new year is upon us, we come back fresh and full of hope and good intentions. That, for me, lasted until my sales meeting in Switzerland last week… For this feature, I will focus my hatred and scorn on the wonderful Schiphol airport. One of the reasons I prefer to use the train rather than the plane can be summed up as follows:
- You do not have to check-in 3 days in advance
- You do not have to answer ridiculous questions such as "Are you bringing a weapon on-board? Have you packed the bag yourselves? Are you in any way aroused by the sight of two mating squirrels?” Etc… (I must admit the last one baffled me a little)
- You do not have to wait three hours for your luggage and when it is one o'clock in the mornind on a Sunday and that you still have to drive to Tiel, this does not fill you with joy or the feelings that you experience watching two squirrels that are furiously at it..
I do not know any baggage handler at Schiphol but this how I imagine they look like in their work environment:
Anyhow, now that I have managed to pretty much bitch about any form of transportation, I will have to take the train before next week so I can fully complete my quest.
On to the first game of 2012, 't Gooi 4 was actually my last game for our team so there was a hint of 'personal' about this one. Hans "Dr Frikandel" Meeter (more about why later) was unfortunately injured but his melodious and boisterous voice could be heard from the sidelines (and probably as far as Gorinchem to be honest). Team selection proved to be a bit of a headache since he had the luxury of picking his team out of 24 players! This was also my first glimpse of Robbie "I am not Satan, this is just a goatee" Rozema since he came back from his injury.
I was also greeted at the club by the sight of the Team photo. You will agree with me that pictures such as this one are usually only found on television followed by the sentence: "If you have seen these men, please call 112," or "Wanted in connection with...".
The theme today is on name of superheroes/villains that (probably) do not exist. I turned to my usual expert Lennaert who confirmed in his position as president of the Young Marvel Comics Adorators (or Y.M.C.A) that they (probably) did not. Is there anything this man does not know????
- Rick "The Average Avenger” Verloop
- Fabio "The Invincible Rabbit” Gomez
- Dennis "The Sperminator” van Gelderen
- Adri "Sergeant Ballerina” Boom
- Andrei "Homoman” Dragan
- Frank "The Almighty Cross-dresser” van Boxtel
- Remco "Captain Ambiguous” Nijhof
- Tom "Eroticon” van Leeuwen
- Marcel "Zoltar Penishead” van de Brun
- Alex "The Masturbationist” Meeter
- Fabian "The Yellow Streak” van Straten
- Sam "Major Sponge” de Vries
- Stefan "The Dancing Vagrant” Opic
- Niels "Dr Hepatitis” Hooykaas
- Mark "The Stupendous Mark van Baaren” van Baaren
- Kevin "Doctor Dildo” Boschaart
- Luc "The Decorator” van der Voorn
- Iwan "The Flying Babboon" Meeter
- Ruben "The Prancing Cowboy" Timmerman
- Rob "Professor Effeminate" Rozema
- Lennaert "Jeanette van den Poepen" de Goede (it has a different meaning in flemish...)
- David "Assman" Leane
We won and the match report can be seen on the website, once again expertly written by an unknown hand. Cohesion was somehow lacking from the forwards and there was some misunderstandings in the backs but overall a great performance. I can also now cross out for my list of New Years resolution this particular objective: "Tackle a beer covered naked man with a hat that makes me look like a demented smurf". There, one down two hundred and seventy-six to go.
Awards for this game:
Man of the Match
Unanimous decision here even from Roy "I am definitely not gay" Jansen. Darting runs, selflessness, intelligence: Stefan Opic is our man of the match.
Dick of the Day
That was a difficult decision but I think the "Laurel and Hardy" move between Alex Meeter and Sam de Vries qualifies them for the first dickS of the day award, sorry guys...
The MvB move of the week
I am a full-back, a position which requires top fitness and involves probably the largest amount of sprints. A position where you have to regularly tackle opponents at full speed, in short a physically demanding position to play in (as far as the backs are concerned, I am not interested in the front 8 dumbass unit). My back is broken and I can barely walk. On the day of the match, do I:
-
safely decide to take a rest to provide some much-wanted relief to my back and stay at home?
-
bring my own trampoline and, at half time, dress as the Incredible hulk and proceed to jump on it while singing "Rolling in the deep" by Adele?
-
decide to start the game to keep up my reputation as tough motherf*cker in the hope that this might lead to getting laid (with a member of the opposite sex, hopefully)?
Clue: He was at the club and I don't know about you but I would have liked to see number 2...